About this Track
- Added on 8 December 2025
- Year of creation 2025
- Tags oldsmuggler, shenanigans, swigs, sails
- 21 plays
Credits
Ahoy, a fresh shanty from th' ol' smuggler's chest!
A jolly romp with Marimbas, Steel Drums, Organs, Flutes, Harpsichord, Bass, Drums, and Percussion!
Aye, that ol' smuggler had a tale to spin last time I saw 'im, but I be doubtin' if it be nothin' but a sailor's yarn, aye. This be what he be sayin’:
—————————————————————
Gather ‘round, ye salty dogs, and lend me yer ears, for I’ll tell ye a tale that’ll make even the most hardened buccaneers scratch their noggins in disbelief.
It’s the crazy adventure of Cap’n Percival Puddlesworth, the most absurd, most unpredictable pirate to ever sail the seven seas
and his quest for the cursed lost locket o’ the Llamas.
Now, Cap’n Percival warn’t yer average pirate, no sir.
He be a master o’ nonsense, a connoisseur of the downright ridiculous,
and a man who once tried to smuggle a barrel of talkin’ parrots onto his ship just to see
what gibberish they’d squawk when they got bored enough to mutiny. Aye, that’s the kind of scallywag he be.
One day, whilst rummagin’ through a dusty, cobwebby chest aboard his ship
the *Giggling Galleon* Percival found a shiny, shimmerin’ locket. They say it held the very essence of the legendary Llama o’ Legend,
a creature so mystical that its spit could cure bad breath, hiccups, and possibly even the hangover from a thousand stolen grogs.
But, curse it, the blasted locket was gone! Rumor had it, that sneaky sorcerer Lord Lizardbrain had nicked it,
thinkin’ that the llama’s spit be the secret to eternal youth and endless pies. That scurvy knave!
Without delay, Cap’n Percival set sail on a wild, ridiculous quest to find that cursed trinket.
Last seen floatin’ ‘round the island o’ “Soggy Socks and Soggyer Socks,” it was. His first port was the local tavern,
The Tipsy Turnip, where he aimed to find a clue or maybe a drunken pirate who could spin a good yarn.
There, he met Sir Clamington, a talkin’ clam who swore that the only way to track down Lord Lizardbrain was to solve the ancient riddle of the Soggy Sphinx
a creature made entirely of soggy bread crumbs, and probably as dangerous as a barrel o’ drunken monkeys.
“You must answer,” squeaked Sir Clamington, like he be hidin’ from the Royal Navy,
“What has wheels but never leaves the spot, and be covered in cheese but never gets eaten?”
Percy scratched his noggin and roared, “A rollin’ cheese wheel, ye bilge rat!” The clam blinked,
then nodded wise-like, and handed him a map drawn on a napkin mostly doodles of a chicken, a rubber duck, and a very confused cow.
Followin’ that map, they stumbled into the lair of the Soggy Sphinx a beast made of soggy bread and questionable gravy that challenged him to a game of “Who Can Make the Soggiest Sandwich?”
Now, Percy had once accidentally invented the “Soggy Sandwich o’ Doom,” so he won easily by smushin’ a tuna fish and marshmallow fluff ‘tween two soggy crackers.
With the Soggy Sphinx’s blessing, Percival finally tracked down Lord Lizardbrain’s hideout a giant, floatin’ teapot shaped like a fish, reekin’ of rotten fish and bad decisions.
Inside, he faced a barrage of the craziest challenges: a dance-off with a tap-dancin’ octopus, a stare-down with a mirror that kept insultin’ him,
and a riddle from a pineapple so serious it looked like it’d swallowed a barrel of rum.
At last, he faced Lord Lizardbrain himself who was busy teachin’ a parrot how to do algebra, cacklin’ like a lunatic. “Ye’ll ne’er find the locket!” he screeched.
“It be hidin’ in the land of the upside-down where everythin’ be backwards and the laws of physics be just suggestions from a drunken deity!”
Percy, as calm as a schooner full o’ ice, reached into his coat and pulled out a rubber chicken. “Ye mean here, ye lily-livered landlubber?” he roared.
The land of the upside-down be a crazy, nonsensical mess talkin’ trees arguin’ about philosophy, rivers flowin’ uphill, and fish wearin’ top hats.
Percy found the locket hangin’ from the tail of a very irritable squirrel, who refused to let go unless Percy could beat him at a game of “Guess the Sound.”
He guessed right that the squirrel’s sneezin’ sounded like “achoo,” and the squirrel impressed as a barnacle on a barnacle handed over the locket.
Percy, triumphant, set sail back to his ship only to realize he’d lost the map somewhere ‘long the way!
In the end, the *Giggling Galleon* sailed off into the sunset, the lost locket snug in Percival’s pocket along with a bellyful o’ wild stories,
pies, and more blabber than a tavern full o’ drunken parrots.
And that, me hearties, be the wild tale of Cap’n Percival Puddlesworth and his quest for the cursed lost locket o’ the Llamas!
So hoist yer sails, fill yer bellies with rum, and remember: sometimes the greatest treasures be the most nonsensical adventures ye ever had.
—————————————————————
Arrr, I be doubtin' this be true and not just some scallywag AI nonsense from the old smuggler. That old sea dog be quite crafty!
Avast! Keep yer spyglasses up and raise a mug o' grog!
Until next tide!
https://downwarecommunications.bandcamp.com
Manchmal sind die Videos keine Videos, weil das Artwork 16:9 war