About this Track
- Added on 16 December 2025
- Year of creation 2025
- Tags reggae, world music
- 13 plays
- 1 play yesterday
Credits
Th' Ol' Smuggler came o'er fer grub yesterday. Seems me aunt knows him from when they be young, shiver me timbers. Drank too much grog an' bugged us wit' his tales, though me aunt seemed ta like it, 'cause she be drunk as a bilge rat. I don' know, but th' Ol' Smuggler claims ta have a secret isle where he hid all th' barrels o' grog he smuggled. Accordin' ta his yarn, He got it from the oyster queen fer returnin' her pearl, aye? What kind o' hogwash be this? Aye, since when do mermaids be real?
Aye, this be his yarn.
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Ahoy, mateys! In th' shimmery blue waters o' th' Caribbean, there lived a grizzled ol' smuggler known as "Ol' Smuggler." Crooked beard, weather-beaten hat, ship held by hope n' duct tape, he were known fer shady deals n' terrible jokes. But today, Ol' Smuggler's set t' embark on a trade most peculiar—make even th' saltiest pirates scratch their heads.
One mornin', Ol' Smuggler were loungin' in his rickety boat when a shimmery figure appeared—none other than th' Oyster Queen, a mermaid wi' a coral crown n' a voice like a thousand singin' whales.
"Ol' Smuggler," she sang, "I've got a pearl more precious than any treasure. But I need a favor—somethin' only ye can do."
Smuggler's one eye twinkled. "Go on, Queenie. Spill th' fish juice."
Oyster Queen told how her pearl were guarded by a wicked octopus, Sir Suck-a-Lot, who loved shiny things and squished anythin' that got too close. She needed th' pearl back t' light up her mermaid haven for underwater tea parties n' whale lullabies.
"But," she added wi' a sly smile, "I want ye t' steal th' pearl from Sir Suck-a-Lot's lair. Easy, right?"
Ol' Smuggler scratched his beard. "Aye, sounds like a job fer a clever seadog. But what's in it fer me?"
Mermaid winked. "A small isle, fer a hammock n' pirate mischief."
So, th' adventure began.
Smuggler knew he couldn't waltz in n' swipe th' pearl. He needed a distraction. He set sail fer th' octopus's lair, a dark cave guarded by tentacles n' bad puns.
He disguised himself as a clam—shiny shell hat—n' waddled past th' guards. Inside, Sir Suck-a-Lot played wi' a shiny ship's bell, tryin' t' summon his jelly pet.
"Hey, big guy," Smuggler whispered, "heard o' th' 'Great Jellyfish Jamboree'? Tonight. Yer invited."
Suck-a-Lot's eyes lit up. "Really? I love parties!"
While th' octopus were distracted, Smuggler snuck in, grabbed th' pearl, n' made a run fer it, as Sir Suck-a-Lot knew he'd been tricked.
Smuggler dashed out, th' pearl safe. But th' octopus weren't pleased. Tentacles wavin', he chased, knockin' over coral n' sendin' seahorses into panic.
Smuggler used his trusty rubber duck—squeakin' loudly—t' distract th' octopus, leadin' it into a kelp maze. When he got out o' th' cave, dolphins cheered him on.
Wi' th' pearl, Ol' Smuggler returned t' Mermaid Palace. Oyster Queen were overjoyed, sang a song 'bout how she’d never forget his deed.
She gave him an island—coconut-sized, fer a pirate hideout. Trees, treasure chests, n' a hammock.
The Smuggler kicked back, a-grinnin'. "Well, lass, I'd say this be the start o' a beautiful friendship, aye. An' maybe a new port for smugglin'... er, I mean, tradin’.“
So, Ol' Smuggler sailed away, th' isle in tow, ready fer his next adventure.
**That be th' end, me hearties!**
(Rubber duck handy when dealin' wi' octopuses, savvy?)
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Shiver me timbers, that don't sound right to me! I be thinkin' that ol' smuggler be makin' up this tale with some cursed magic. 'Tis ridiculous, aye, an’ we had to air out the house fer th’ whole night after that ol' salty seadog left. Until next tide!
A one-man show, plunderin' th' internet wit' all sorts o' shenanigans. All tracks writ, performed, recorded, mixed, 'n mastered by DWC*ONE, unless specified. Sometimes th' videos be no videos...